Carol's Colors: My Experience Watching The Lesbian Drama "Carol"

This article is one in a series where I watch films that have been recommended to me by friends. Often times these films are different than the movies I usually watch. It’s 2021 baybee, time to broaden those horizons.

This past weekend on its fifth anniversary of release, I watched the lesbian romantic drama “Carol” (currently on Netflix) for the first time. I did it because my friends recommended it to me and I wanted a film that would tell me a story that was very different from my own. I watch a lot of content, read a lot of books, and play a lot of video games. More often than not, the stories I’m consuming have a male protagonist and an ample amount of explosions (either literal or metaphorical, ideally both) - so “Carol” a mostly quiet film about a lesbian romance between the main character (an awe inspiring Cate Blanchett) and young woman named Therese (Rooney Mara) in the 1950’s was the perfect film for me to watch to broaden my horizons.

The film opens with an extended shot of a subway grate. You can hear a train rumbling, although it sounds more like a force from within the earth. This is a sound metaphor as the film’s core narrative is about how people’s longings and desires come from a place deep within themselves, kind of emotionally primal, but not in a barbaric way. After that opening shot the film is pretty much bathed in a glorious shimmery hue of 1950’s New York City: bright neon lights, radiant period clothes, and urban colors straight out of an Edward Hopper painting. Yet beneath this shiny sheen lies another world - a world of desires not accepted by the status quo. In an epic yet subtle move by director Todd Haynes as things get more dire and sad for our characters in the story, the color palette of the film becomes more muted and dull. 

Speaking of Haynes (himself a gay man), this guy is putting on a masterclass in “showing not telling” storytelling! My favorite is how he shows the difference between the worlds through a visual language that frequently places objects between characters. A lot of times it’s car windows, sometimes it’s a table, or in one of the film’s most breathtaking shots - it’s a whole apartment between two people drawn to each other because they recognize they are different. Another moment in the film literally has a character breaking through these barriers for nefarious purposes but I won’t spoil that here. This type of visual storytelling does wonders for the movie as the caliber of the filmmaking on display here supercharges the drama between the characters!

It helps that Cate Blanchett is positively “gawd tier or should I say goddess tier” in her role. She radiates cool female energy - smoking cigarettes, drinking martinis, and driving around Manhattan in the top down convertible with her friend!  I think a lot of mainstream audiences may know Cate Blanchett from her genre work in the “Lord Of The Rings” or “Thor:Ragnarok” but the propulsive confidence that she carries with those more fantastical roles is still present here, albeit in a different form. I love that she’s this confident woman who knows what she wants, a rad flip of the cool guy 50’s New York businessman mythos (think Don Draper). In another connected Universe she would cross paths with Don Drapes himself and I’m sure the encounter would be interesting!

I’ll be honest I definitely kind of went into the movie expecting it to be some kind of rosetta stone to understand queer romance. So when it ended and I didn’t feel like I had discovered the secret truth of lesbianism I was briefly like - damn, how did I miss it?  This led me to two truths - both pretty obvious! The first is that I’ve never been a lesbian romance in my life - so how would I understand every single element of the queer experience portrayed here. The second is the most obvious one - the foundations of every love story are the same. All types of people meet through simple or wild ways. People fall in love in magical or simple ways. And people fall in love for simple or complex reasons. Love for everyone regardless of their gender or where they land on the sexual identity spectrum is the same!

Now I would hate to be the cheeseball that adds this article by saying my takeaway from this beautifully told story is “love is love,” but I think that might be it. So rather I’ll leave with a line from the movie, love, just like the amazing symphony of warm colors the film serenades its characters with, is for everyone: “Love is a “perpetual sunrise.”

The Sound Of Metal: Disability Through New Ears

I was 14 year old when I saw my Mom use sign language in the wild. I was struck in this moment how my Mom could connect with a total stranger. It was very cool, lowkey kind of wild, and to this day inspiring. As a kid, I knew what sign language was and even knew some basic phrases because my mother was a Professor of Special Education. Me and my two brothers grew up in a house where we talked about disability rights, watched films about disability, and generally were taught that disabled people were no different than us. Nevertheless, it still was shocking to me when my Mom busted out sign language in the middle of a busy square on a busy spring day in the middle of Dublin. I was seeing my Mom’s skills as an educator and a communicator in the wild and it was thrilling and inspirational.

This past weekend I watched the incredible film “ Sound Of Metal.” It came out this year, is currently streaming on Amazon Prime, and I’m sure it will be an Academy Award contender. My Dad recommended the film to me as an amazing disability film and I can see why. It tells the story of heavy metal drummer Ruben (Riz Ahmed) who loses his hearing and how he navigates his new deafness in his life. With scenes of Ruben learning to sign, connecting with other Deaf folks, and searching for meaning - I’m sure my Mom would have loved this movie. She loved disability movies, but a disability teaching movie - that’s a one-two punch. 

Riz Ahmed & Paul Raci

My favorite character in the film is Joe, who leads a support group for deaf addicts that Ruben attends. Portrayed by Paul Raci (an actor who grew up with Deaf parents), Joe is an empathetic character who serves as Ruben’s guide as he navigates the new world of his disability. Thanks to some incredible sound design in the film, the viewer gets to “understand” what Ruben’s hearing loss sounds and feels like. Music rages but no sound is heard during the film, characters lips move but there is only muffled silence - it’s very powerful and effective. 

And while this sound design is incredible - the true strength of the film for me is how through Ruben’s journey guided by Joe - we get an illuminating glimpse of different deaf communities. I loved the scenes of rowdy group dinners where everyone is using sign language, to school classes where students have their hands on the piano to feel music, and another great scene where Ruben competes with a student to see who can sign the alphabet faster. I would be remiss if I didn’t mention that these scenes showcase a lack of inclusion as it appears there are only deaf students in the classes and like my Mom, I believe that disabled students should be with other non disabed students in school (and life!) but for the sake of the film - everything works beautifully. 

“ Sound Of Metal” is a beautiful movie. It shows us there is hope for those who are struggling to accept the pain that life throws at us. It uses the full suite of filmmaking power (sound design, visuals, plot, acting) to showcase a world not often seen on film. And finally it reminds us that no matter how hard things may get - there are people like Joe - or for me and for all of her students there are people like Mom to guide us through the uncertainty that swirls around us.

2021: The Search For Empathy

One of the most unexpected business buzzwords for me in 2020 was “empathy,” Joe Biden talked about it, Michelle Obama gave a speech about it, and people were googling it a lot! I’m no stranger to buzzwords.  I got behind “authentic,” “low-hanging fruit,” and even “ostensibly” - even though I still don’t know what that last one means - but empathy - what was that about?  For me, as a college educated cisgender white male from the Northeast living in the heart of the Austin, Texas - there were a lot of people outside my bubble (i.e. Trump Voters, Racists, Covid-Deniers) that I did not empathize with. In fact, I hated them. But then, came an ultra-violent video game epic and streaming series about a goofy soccer coach and I ,shockingly, began to understand what empathy really means. 

When you look in the dictionary - “empathy” means “the ability to understand and share the feelings of another,” which in the scope of 2020 feels like a tough ass thing to do. Yet, it was through my experience with the video game “The Last Of Us Part II” that I started to understand what this whole empathy thing was all about. If you’re not familiar - “The Last Of Us Part II” is an ultra-violent video game released in June that tells a tale of vengeance and violence amidst a post apocalyptic America that has been ravaged by a plague that turns people into monsters. 

As most post apocalyptic stories go - the real monsters are the people who survive and the moral compromises they make along the way. For the entire first half of the game, the player assumes the role of Ellie, a young girl determined to kill Abby, whom she hates with a burning passion because Abby killed someone close to her. Midway through the game - the game flips - and all of sudden the player assumes the role of Abby - who is trying to kill Ellie. There’s a lot more detail in the story, some of it poignant, some of it heavy handed, and ALL of it really immersive and intense. Yet, while the overall game mechanics are kick-ass - it’s the theme of “the flip” of perspective that has stuck with me throughout this strange year. 

It’s not enough these days to “put yourself in someone else’s shoes” because that would imply that we have worn one pair of shoes our whole life. To truly empathize - we need to understand people’s journeys, their cultures, and their hopes - their whole wardrobe to see the metaphor through. And while there has been much discourse about the game and it’s successes and failings - I think it’s greatest triumph is that it made people examine themselves and how they...empathize with others that they hate.

Somewhat tragically I believe for a lot of us, even if we can empathize with people and understand why they think that way - the end result is the same - these people suck and they are wrong! And this is a sweeping generalization but the feeling is something like this -  I understand that COVID-19 lockdowns destroyed your small business but you’re still a selfish evil person if A) Voted for Trump B) Have gone outside your house without a mask C) Don’t want to defund the police. In this upside down year - that’s logic that feels “right” to some and “wrong” to others. And in 2020, the “rights” and the “wrongs” have never been more intense.

Enter in “Ted Lasso,” one of the most heart-warming shows I’ve ever watched. If you haven’t heard of it you can watch it on Apple TV. It’s a show about Ted Lasso, a  mid-western college football coach who ends up coaching a Premiere League soccer team. It’s a mix of “Friday Night Lights,” “Bad News Bears,” and every book/seminar/podcast/speech you’ve ever heard on leadership and team building in your life. The show excels at many things - but outside of it’s relentless positivity - it’s the way the viewer learns that at the end of the day - we’re all just people with hopes and dreams, people who are making their way on the journey, and people who fail - that sticks with me. Everyone from the cocky young forward, to the team’s owner, to even Ted Lasso himself are carrying their tragedies, victories, and hopes into their lives. This is a lesson that really stuck with me - everyone struggles. Rich, poor, black, white, liberal, republican - everyone is on their own journey full of ups and downs. That’s easy to forget, but important to remember.

There are some big differences in the emotional messaging of “Last Of Us Part II” and “Ted Lasso,” and I’m not just talking about physical and emotional trauma. “The Last Of Us Part II” shows that if we don’t empathize with those we hate -the consequences for both ourselves and others are dire. I’m not gonna spoil it - but the game has the bleakest “happy” ending ever (kind of like the end of 2020, right?). It tells us with a heavy hand - empathize or our lives will be ruined. Ted Lasso on the other hand is telling us that empathizing will enrich our lives. It is only through relentless optimism and a search for common ground that we can regain our humanity and replenish our hope in a hard year.

There’s a lot more to be said about “The Last Of Us Part 2,” “Ted Lasso,” and 2020 in general (can’t tell if that gets quotes or not) but what I’m sure about as this year winds down is that I know now that empathy is not an act - it’s like all true things - a journey, and one that requires relentless commitment. I’m not ready to declare something bold (even though it would make a great “take”) that empathy is the opposite of cancel culture - but I do know that empathy, now that I truly understand what it means - is something that we can just use as a buzzword - but something we can strive to understand and practice in our daily lives.

The Saving Grace Of Originality - A.K.A. Stan Wars

Somewhere along the way, the nerds aka the fanboys and fangirls won. I don’t just mean from a monetary perspective, even though six out of the biggest films in 2019 were sci fi/comic book related. I’m talking about THE CULTURE. Second to politics (which is basically just high stakes entertainment), nerd culture is basically everywhere. Nerd culture is the biggest movies (Avengers, Joker), the biggest shows (Game Of Thrones, The Witcher, Stranger Things, the entire CW, etc) , the biggest video games (Fortnite, Call Of Duty) and a overall a total dominant force in conversation. This should be something to celebrate -  fandom “won!” Wear your custom Deadpool shirts in public! But if that’s the case - why does it all feel like such a drag? Why are instances like the below happening

• Sonic Movie Is Delayed Due Fan Backlash

• 1.8 Million People Petition HBO To Remake Game Of Thrones Season 8 And HBO Responds To It

• Star Wars Character Rose Tico Sidelined In Finale

When I was a kid, I told my Uncle I wanted to be a movie critic. He gave me some intense yet wise life advice “Anyone can tear up a garden, but it takes a different type of person to plant one.” This has stayed with me and it’s never been more pertinent than now. Everyone has always had an opinion, it’s just that now everyone really thinks their opinion deserves to be heard and acted upon. Fandom used just be full Lebowski (“that’s like your opinion, man”) and now fandom is like - “ACT on this opinion or we will kill you and your family.” 

I have a good friend who I’ve been talking deep nerd issues with for over 20 years. We’ve casted entire theoretical comic book movies (Clive Owen as Harvey Dent?), theorized about LOST (who was in the outrigger), and pursued every Easter Egg under the sun. This year though, when I asked about the rumored “JJ Cut” of the latest Star Wars movie - he said that he was done with the endless obsession with takes aka firey opinions on Star Wars and almost all fandom. I couldn’t agree with him more - now that fans have gotten a taste of their opinions being acted on they must make the opinions LOUDER and BOLDER. 

So in this maelstrom of hot takes and toxic fandom - how can we survive? Well, the way I see it, we go full Robert Frost and see two diverging roads. The first road is one of blind allegiance - aka the Marvel Path. This path requires a strong leader (aka Marvel’s Chief Producer Kevin Feige) that has earned your faith through a consistent output of good to amazing movies. You generally accept that Marvel knows what you’re doing and you’ll follow them until they mess something up. This is a SAFE path and one that provides a nice steady drip of entertainment that’s mildly intellectually stimulating, usually pretty funny, and emotionally satisfying. As someone who worships at the altar of the MCU - this is a great path, but it’s not the one that “has made all the difference.” 

The one that has made ALL of the difference is the path of originality. Only the path of originality can truly save us from the fan hordes. Instead of catering to the “fans,” the stories challenge them by presenting them new ideas, characters, and worlds for them to inhabit. It’s the difference between giving fans a whole new world for them to inhabit OR trying to build a new house in a neighborhood where they feel like they make the rules. There are some rare instances where an original story can involve known franchises/characters (I’m thinking here of JOKER) but for the most part these stories have to be totally new and not linked to any comic book, movie, TV show, poem, video game, or ANYTHING else. Just fresh baybee.

Original content doesn’t have to be arthouse high brow content either. My most anticipated movie of 2020 is TENET, a 250 million budget time travel espionage thriller shot in seven countries with a stacked cast! I’m very intrigued by BIOS, a Tom Hanks sci-fi drama about his relationship with his Android in a post apocalyptic setting. I can’t wait for DA 5 BLOODS, Spike Lee’s upcoming Epic War Drama! There’s a lot to be excited about! Don’t get me wrong, I can’t wait for some sequels this year (Fast 9 baybee) - but nothing is more refreshing than a bold original story unencumbered by the fandom hordes.

I think it’s rad that people care so much about nerdy movies and TV shows. Lord knows I almost saw God when Captain America got the hammer in Endgame - but the path of toxicity that has been summoned isn’t good for anyone. Everyone is entitled to an opinion - but it’s just that an opinion. If fans think they can do it better than instead of going nuclear about something they didn’t create - they should go nuclear in creating. That’s how legendary stories, massive fandoms, and the geeks really win.

I AM HYPE - My Most Anticipated Content - 2020 Edition

2020 is going to be a big year for content. Unlike 2019 which was the year of the finale (Game Of Thrones, Star Wars, and the MCU all had their current forms “end”) - 2020 is the year of big new movies and content. Don’t freak out though, I’m still showing up and showing out for my franchises - in fact more than half my list is sequels! So let’s jump into my most anticipated content of 2020. Some of it you may know and others you may not! I’ve broken it down by video games, movies, Tom Hanks, and TV.

GAMES

The Last Of Us Part II (Game - May)

It’s been seven years since the first Last Of Us game blew everyone’s minds with it’s incredible characters, moving story, shocking violence, and powerful statement on just what a video game can be. Well, now it’s back and from what we’ve seen so far it looks epic in every way. If Red Dead Redemption II re-defined what a video game narrative can be - I’m expecting this game to do the same. The gameplay released has been intense, the game is so epic in scope it takes two discs to play, and most of all the protagonist Ellie looks like she is ready to kick ass, kiss her girlfriend, and slay some monsters and some tunes on the guitar.

Halo:Infinite (Fall)

The launch title for the new XBOX console also just happens to be a soft reboot of my second favorite video game franchise of all time (first is GTA). I’m eagerly anticipating this not just because it is surely going to have amazing graphics and show off the shiny new console - but because the last game in the series was NOT GOOD. Never before has a sequel/remake had to do the heavy lifting of launching a console, regaining fan trust, and being incredibly fun and entertaining.

MOVIES

Tenet (July 17th)

Christopher Nolan’s always brings the heat. I remember seeing his last movie Dunkirk in theaters and almost jumping out of my chair in the final action because of how tense it was. Well, he’s back with a movie that looks hugely ambitious (shot it in seven countries!) and pretty damn mind-blowing. It looks like an espionage thriller with time travel/manipulation elements (think Inception) and features a stacked cast including John David Washington (from Black Klansmannn), Robert Pattinson, and Kenneth Branagh. I caught the prologue for it in December and the whole thing just looks intense in the best ways. Smart, thrilling, blockbusters don’t get any better.

Fast 9 ( May 22nd)

At this point you know what this franchise is about: over the top action and then more over the top action. However Fast 9 has one massively crucial task and if it doesn’t get there, well shit, I don’t want to think about it. IT HAS TO SET UP THE FAST 10 MOVIE TO HAVE A SPACE ELEMENT. The franchise “ends” with 10 and if we don’t see Vin Diesel driving on the rings of Saturn, I’m going to need to “Tenet” myself back to 2001 to forget this franchise existed.

Dune (December 18)

Full disclosure to all your Sci-Fi nerds and cultists - I’ve never read this book. Maybe I’ll tackle it this year. Or maybe I’ll just wait til director Denis Villeneuve and cinematographer Roger Deakins cook up some of that Blade Runner 2049 magic with another science fiction tale. The cast here is loaded with Javier Bardem, Timothee Chalamet (shoutout to the Tim’s out there), Oscar Issac and many more holding it done. I’m ready for that big screen science fiction action baybeeee!

Top Gun: Maverick (June 26th

I always laugh when people make fun of Tom Cruise for being “crazy” or a “scientologist” or whatever. Who cares! Let him live! Specifically let him keep making incredible action movies with practical effects that take your breath away. I’m in for this movie for the flight sequences alone. I guess I’m also in for the soundtrack and the fact that actor Glen Powell (who plays one of the fighter pilot) is a favorite in our household.

Wonder Woman 1984 (June 4th)

My mind was not blown by Wonder Woman, but I’m pumped for this one - mostly because its first trailer is a propulsive blast of energy and sold me on the movie right away. I’m essentially hoping for a super-heroine version of ATOMIC BLONDE aka all kickass action scenes and 80’s needle drops.

The Tax Collector (TBD)

2019 was the year that Shia Labeoff showed his sentimental side in movies like “Peanut Butter Falcon” and “Honey Boy.” 2020 is the year we get back to full psycho Shia and I’m all for it. From director David Ayer (“End Of Watch”) the film is a gritty gangster drama that I’m not sure will be good but I’m sure Shia will be interesting in it. Let’s go Shia! Keep challenging yourself and your fans!

Da 5 Bloods (TBD)

In 2006, Spike Lee made the amazing and underrated “Inside Man.” He cashed in the success of that movie with a war movie “The Miracle Of St Anna” which was poorly well received. And now the cycle repeats itself - Spike Lee won his first Oscar with “BlackKklansman” and now he’s back with another war epic - “Da 5 Bloods.” The film tells the story of a group of Vietnam Veterans who return back to Vietnam to find their squad leader’s remains and buried treasure. The cast is a powerful mix of black actors including Chadwick Boseman, Jonathan Majors, Delroy Lindo, and Clarke Peters. I’m rooting for Spike!

TOM HANKS

-  Yes, he has his own category because he has 3 movies all which sound like fascinating stories that will speak to our modern life through the many different genres.

Greyhound (May)

Hanks plays a WWII submarine commander battling German U-Boats in the Atlantic while dealing with his own self doubt and questions of faith. This basically sounds like “War Hanks,” which if you’ve seen “Saving Private Ryan” is a great Hanks. Submarine movies are always super tense affairs and I can’t wait for this one.

BIOS (October)

Sci-Fi Hanks doesn’t pop up often, but when it does (like in Cloud Atlas) it almost always speaks to our current era through bold stories. This film BIOs takes place in a post apocalyptic wasteland and sees Hanks playing an inventor and the last man on earth building a robot to protect the life of his beloved dog after he dies. I’m not crying science fiction tears you are.

News Of The World (December)

Hanks re-teams with “Captain Phillips” director Paul Greengrass for this story about a journalist who must escort a young girl to her relatives in the aftermath of the American Civil War. Greengrass specializes in bringing a gritty realism to human stories and my hope is that by by tackling both journalism and civil strife in American - we’ll get a great story that’s revelvant to today’s world!

TV SHOWS

LoveCraft Country (TBD)

This one was on my list last year and of course is back again. A magic realism take on racism - the show is adapted from the book of the same name and chronicles a family’s experiences with racism and institutionalized magic in civil rights America. I loved actor Jonathan Major’s work in the 2019 movie “The Last Black Man In San Francisco” and I’m looking forward to his work here. The show also comes from executive producer Jordan Peele and I hope he is able to conjure his social commentary of “Get Out” with some genre thrills. 

Y The Last Man (TBDs)

Based on one of my favorite comic books - this story is about what happens to Yorrick Brown, the last man on earth after all the males suddenly die. He navigates a female dominated world with his monkey sidekick. It sounds like “The Handmaid’s Tale” meets “The Walking Dead,” which is enough to get me to tune in. It airs on FX sometime this year.

Westworld (March 15th)

Westworld is a challenging, confusing, and also action packed with amazing ideas and kick-ass sci-fi action. The new season is a “soft-reboot” for the series with most of the action taking place outside the park in a futuristic vision of the year 2052 complete with robots, gleaming cities, and a very angsty Aaron Paul getting in the mix with the hosts.

Barry (TBD)

Believe me, I was surprised as anyone to discover that a “comedy” series with Bill Hader playing a hitman who gets into acting is actually a “comedy” series with kick-ass action, huge laughs, and amazing characters like the god tier character of NoHo Hank. I can’t wait to see where this zany black comedy goes in a new season.

The Good Lord Bird (February 16th)

I’ve always been fascinated with John Brown, the famed abolitionist and who took up arms against the government before the civil war began. Sure, there are other shows that I’m geeked about (FX’s “Devs” and Amazon’s “Underground Railroad) being the standout - but John Brown is a lightning rod figure and these are lightning rod times, I’m pumped! This mini-series on Showtime sees Ethan Hawke play John Brown, “Hamilton’s” Daveed Diggs play Frederick Douglass, and Wyatt Russell as J.E.B. Stuart the man who took John Brown down. I hope this story is insightful and action packed.

There you have it. All my picks. I’m sure I’m missing something. Last year’s top pick was AD-ASTRA and it didn’t disappoint! What are you looking to this year? What did I miss?