Game Of Thrones Recap - Season 7 - Episode 6 - Beyond The Wall

This episode was titled Beyond The Wall and boy does that have many meanings. First is that obviously a whole bunch of shit pops off up north beyond the wall. Second, with the Jon Snow Daenerys romance in full effect - it’s safe to say Jon’s heart is wayyy beyond the wall. Finally, there’s the wall of family that exists to protect us from outsiders and Arya is way beyond that too. Now let's talk about wight zombie bears.

Direwolf Badassery - None but I think wight polar bears gotta count for something here.

Hardhome Pt 2 or Nah - Obviously this episode was amazing and totally thrilling. I got all the white walker chaos I wanted (even though only one white walker actually dies) but thing was because of the preview last week I know this shit was coming. Living up to the hype it did, but sometimes I like when stuff just comes out of left field, you know like a polar bear zombie.

1. So now that there is an ice dragon in place my first question is whether it will breathe ice, fire, or snow? In some ways breathing fire would be the worst outcome right?

2. When that dragon went down my wife was losing it. When Tormund looked like he was going down I was legit crying and ready to smash my TV. Love that guy.

3. Very interesting dynamic they set up with the wights dying when their master dies. Kind of feels like the writer’s plotting their end-game as this mechanic didn’t really matter in Hardhome. Jesus, I’m like a hardhome worshipper huh?

4. Arya has gotten pretty annoying ever since she’s been back at Winterfell - she was cooler when she was killing people like a machine, now she has to scheme and Maise Williams either is getting bad material or can’t really hit the right acting beats. It is taking me out of the story.

5. So when a dragon dies everyone just stops what they’re doing mid-battle and watches in awe? Even the wights?7

6. RETURN OF THE MIND BONE - Jorah’s brief conversation with Thoros about what he was thinking when he charged into battle with his flaming sword is important. Thoros doesn’t remember the moment he’s clearly known for. This is a sneaky statement about how our legends only matter to those who hear them. Jorah may think he’s a dishonorable man cause that’s his legend - but to the people he’s served with now he’s a hero. You can’t control your legacy for better or for worse.

Game Of Thrones Recap - Season 7 - Episode 5 - Eastwatch

Now that the Tarly BBQ has opened and closed for business I think we can agree that was a pretty decent Thrones episode that served as an appetizer to the epic action on deck for next week. But there certainly was some stuff to munch on.

Direwolf Badassery - Are dragons the new direwolves? I'm thinking yes.

Hardhome Pt 2 or Nah - Next week baybeeee

1. Jamie & Bronn are in the running for the most ride or die dynamic duo on the show. Other contenders are Jon Snow and Sam, Jon Snow & Edd, Jon Snow & Tormund, Thoros & Beric and while not together anymore - Bran & Mera.

2. Tyrion is such a buzzkill these days.

3. Before he got roasted Randyll Tarly says that there are no easy choices anymore. I feel the same way when trying to pick my sides for my brisket when I’m going bananas on some Texas BBQ. It was also a great metaphor for the show.

4. Cannot believe it took me this long to realize this - THE CITADEL ARE THE THRONES VERSION OF THE ILLUMINATI - a bunch of old white dudes with mad history sitting around scheming on the fate of the world.

5. Did I miss something or did Daenerys go from not caring about the white walkers to being all in supporting this insane mission to capture a wight. Kind of a big turn. Dragon petting made her a believer?

6. To that note the plot machinations to get Arya and Littlefinger scheming on each other seemed clumsy. In some ways it will be fitting if Arya’s aggressive violence comes to an end via a scheme of tha mind. 

7. Where the hell is Euron?

8. Finally - what a posse that is rolling out to capture a wight. OH MY GAWD is that a heavy hitter SQUAD if I’ve ever seen one. If it had to pick someone in that posse going down here’s my ranking on who’s gonna bite it:

The Hound

Ser Beric (but he can be brought back)

Thoros

Jorah

Tormund

Gendry

J.Snow

Game Of Thrones Recap - Season 7 - Episode 4 - The Spoils Of War

After last week's set-up episode Game of Thrones had to bring the fire this week and got dayuuuum did it. This was a clear sequel to last year’s Battle Of The Bastards (we even got the now classic guy getting run over by a horse shot) but you know this time there were D R A G O N S straight burning shit up! Love it!

Direwolf Badassery - Holding out hope for Ghost to make his triumphant return this season.

Hardholme Part 2 Or Nah - That was about as good as a battle you could get without having white walkers.

Bronn is some ways the Slim Charles of Game Of Thrones. A killer supporting character, carries a strong personal code, and has a tendency to steal lots of scenes. If you don’t know who Slim Charles is then you need to watch The Wire which also has Littlefinger in it in a time traveling tour de force.

I used to love Joffrey for his endless swag but now I love EMO BRAN who is so damn emo it’s amazing. All he wants is to spend time ravening aka soaring the cosmos.

Thrones has mastered the beautiful shot of the lone rider on the horse and I’m into it.

Jaime Lannister dead or nah? NAH. At this stage in the game Thrones needs him as a foil to Cersei and I think he’s ultimately going to end up the hero of the realm. On a whole his character this season and other seasons has been extremely sympathetic, I mean you heard him about wanting to give the men fair warning before flogging them. He’s on a path to redemption and it’s not over yet.

Cracks me up that Daenerys is taking advice from Jon Snow. I know she’s looking for the cave treatment that Ygritte got, but Jon is not the best military mastermind.

White walkers are coming - I feel it in my bones. Nice cave paintings though. Where did the find the blue coloring?

Game Of Thrones Recap - Season 7 Episode 3 - The Queen's Justice

So Thrones is now three episodes in on a 7 episode season and I'm almost bored. Damn, Cersei is really on the warpath huh? I just wish these "battles" had a little more oomph to them.

Direwolf Badassery - I missed last week and I’m sorry to Nymeria and all the direwolves ever. It was cool seeing the pack, it would have been cooler to see Ghost get dragonstone fangs and rip white walkers to pieces, but that’s just me

Hardholme Pt 2 or Nah - Hell no. We got one dude getting impaled on a spear from Grey Worm and that’s about it. I NEED MORE.

If Jon Snow is the dude convincing world leaders and everyone of a global climate based threat does that make him the Al Gore of the show.

I’m a little mystified just why the people of King’s Landing cheer so much for the Dornish captives and Yara Greyjoy. Don’t these people hate the Lannisters? Didn’t they love the Faith Militant? Didn’t they love Margaery?

For all my fiending for White Walkers the scene with Jon Snow and Daenerys was pretty much the greatest dialogue driven scene in the history of the show.

MAJOR TEASE - Why is Melisandre dipping out but saying she’ll be back. I think she’s gathering an army of red priests and red priestess’s for the coming battle with the Night’s King.

Never really cared for The Sand Snakes so all the scenes with their deaths mean nothing to me.

PREDICTION - Jon Snow will make it back to the wall just in time to see in fall as the army of the dead rolls through.

Game Of Thrones Recap - Season 7 Premiere - Dragonstone

Thrones is back with a classic set-up the pieces for the season episode. I mean there were literal tables with pieces on them at the end of it. So the pieces are set and I’m primed. Let’s goooo.

Direwolf Badassery - Not too much. I hold out hope

Hardhome Pt 2 Or Nah - Not yet, but with three wight Giants and a giant army literally made up of the winds of winter you know this showdown is coming and it’s going to be so damn epic

A lot has happened in the real world since Thrones went off the air and I feel like the election of President Trump has given this thing a weirdly more prescient (big word alert) tone. I loved the line about “yesterday’s wars don’t matter any more” which seems to really drive up the metaphoric coming crisis of the white walkers aka climate change. Additionally, the montage of the Citadel ,a place harrowed for its knowledge, seemed to portray a bunch of old men shitting and eating. Truly an elite institution. The citadel is FAKE NEWS.

First theory of the season - Jaime Lannister is gonna kill Cersei just like he did the Mad King. He knows when someone is crazy and needs to be put down and you can see that inkling behind his still dope armor.

Ever since he said “I am the storm” before killing his uncle - Euron Greyjoy has always been a pretty badass character, but I think his rock star act is a little thin this year. Let’s hope he starts wrecking people soon.

Ser Beric Dondarrion is gonna have a huge part to play in this showdown. You don’t sit around by a fire, have your buddy (or half buddy) see a trippy vishion (whoah bro, arrowhead mountains) and talk about how you want to have your part in the story get played without it being important.

Love Bran at the wall and that Night’s Watch OG Ed is the one that welcomes them, but I think that Bran is a literal magnet for the wrath of the Night’s King. The wall is going down this season.

Cannot wait for the battle at Eastwatch by the Sea. See you there.