Game Of Thrones Recap - Season 4 - Episode 1 - "Two Swords"
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Direwolf Badassery: -10. I'm starting to wonder if counting these points is still valid considering the unfortunate events of last season. We have Ghost, Nymeria, Summer, and Shaggydog out there but a direwolf gets burned in the first minute of the show so that's a big loss of points!
#JoffreySwag : 28 Points! 10 points for the statue. 5 bonus points for the pose. 3 points for his fly gold clothes (swag!) and an additional 10 points for all his zingers.
1. The season opens with the image of a sword and many times did swords play key roles in tonight's episode. The Stark's sword was melted down, Jaime's abilities were questioned, Arya got his sword back, and Prince Oberyn Martell commented on best use of a sword inside. The message here folks is that swords will be used this season and blood will be spilled (perhaps more than usual).
2. Some new cities on the map. I spotted Dreadfort and Mereen and the return of Winterfell. Did I miss any?
3. Just when you think Jaime's redemption story and journey to being a hero is going to continue strong this season with him standing up to his father he has go get all bitsy creeping on his sister. WTF Bro?
4. Pretty sneaky for HBO to hit you with the brothel scene complete with lots of naked female flesh only to switch it with some potential man on man action. I'm sure many a Bro of Thrones fan was confused by that moment!
5. Oberyn Martell is going to be a beast this season. Calling it now- it's going to be a real showdown for resident badass between him and BG aka Badass Ginger aka Tormund the Wilding. Jon Snow is now too emo to be considered.
6. Shae is the most annoying character on the show. Why is she still around? Weak sauce.
7. A surefire way to introduce a group of bad guys is to make them cannibals and such is the case for the Thenn. A group more wild than the wildlings! Dayuum!
8. I loved how well written this episode was. The dialogue cracked like the flames of a beach bonfire party with Melisandre. The scene with Jamie and Cersei re-connecting and the Hound's "Wire" reference (A man's gotta have a code") standoff were almost Tarantino like in their verbal firepower. Also props to blind man Maester Aemon on the Night's Watch for squeezing in a zinger about how he learned to spot liars.
9. This episode was full of darkness: almost to a point where it seemed the writers were trying to point out that this is "Game of Thrones" and they're not not holding back. Multiple references to rape, crucified kids, violent descriptions of horrible acts, and brutal deaths. Maybe I've just gone soft while the show's been off the air.
10. So Arya finally gets her first real kill on her list - Polliver - a barely important Lannister soldier. She also got her sword back! She is on her way master assassin but I hope she doesn't lose her humanity on the way.
11. No sign of Bran,Hodor or my main man Stannis and his blazing hot broad. Since both of their stories are the most magic heavy I actually missed them a lot and can't wait to check in.
That's it for the first week, feels great to have the show back on the air, the waiting is always the hardest part and we made it! Happy to have the show back and sharing these recaps with you. Please share them and spread the word!