25 Signs You're Getting Old, Bro
1. Your cookie preference switches from late-night oreos to post dinner Pepperidge Farm Mint Milanos or Chessmen. Depends how you get down.
2. Going to Jimmy Buffet Shows is something you’re seriously considering.
3. You’ve bought a solar powered radio and couldn’t be more excited to get a crank powered flashlight.
4. Winwood. That would be Steve Winwood. You’re into it.
5. Coffee becomes an art form (you’re still using a French press bro?) and not a tool to recover from Hangovers.
6. Diets are no longer something your parents did, but now something that you do so that you can prevent yourself from wearing stretchy pants down the line.
7. You’ve actually said “Is this what the kids are listening to these days?”
8. You are rationalizing getting a belt clip for your cell phone. I mean it’s just so convenient!
9. Speaking of convenience, “convenient” is slowly replacing “cool” in terms of how you value something. As in -”I’m going to install this wall mounted key holder this Saturday. It’s going to make our lives so much easier.”
10. Your memory is fading in the slightest of ways and you don’t know if it’s age or the echoes of all the Phish shows you’ve been to.
11. Any strategy to contain your Dunlaps Disease is failing. What’s Dunlaps disease? It’s when your gut DUN-LAPPED over your belt. I think that’s an old man saying, but isn’t it great?
12. Facebook becomes more of a nostalgia machine than a way to keep up with friends.
13. Beer Pong tournaments are getting replaced with baby showers.
14. Socks. You’re spending money on high quality socks and you don’t know why. I’m not talking about athletic socks, I’m talking ARGYLE. Or stripes.
15. Buying a boat.
16. Suddenly the books you’re reading are garguantuan non-fiction books that are called tomes. What the hell is a tome? It doesn’t matter, but you say it.
17. Gardening is fastly becoming a really enjoyable hobby of yours and you’re not growing marijuana either, just a nice, quaint tomato crop. Maybe some basil for some mid-summer pesto.
18. You’ve seen all the original versions of the movies that are now getting rebooted. You can remember who you saw them with.
19. Desserts become an epic treat and not a regular occurrence. Note this point is connected to #11, #6, and #1.
20. You can still rage but now it takes two weeks of preparing and another two weeks of recovery.
21. Anything to do with decks, patios, and lawn furniture.
22. The excitement you get from your Universal Remote is way more than you ever anticipated.
23. Bachelor Party weekends are put on a pedestal.
24. Instead of letting dishes stay in the sink for a week you now let them stay for 3 days before just saying “this is filthy, I’ll wash them.”
25. Excessive grilling