Game Of Thrones Recap - No One - Season 6, Episode 8

After missing last week, I’m back and you know what - Game Of Thrones is as well. I thought this episode was a great mix of violence, plot movement, and some unexpected humor.

Direwolf Badassery - No, but hopefully next week.

Jon Snow Mania - No, but hopefully next week

1. While I think the writers leaned a little too heavy on the dramatic reenactments of previous seasons with the theater group - I found “Cersei’s” monologue tonight to be amazing. It sets up the anguish that Cersei feels later in the episode was Tommen takes away her right to trial by Combat. Man, Tommen has made a quick turnaround - offscreen character, wide eyed virgin getting his rocks off with Margaery, to now - a cold blooded psycho who turns his own mother over to fanatics!

2. The hound is literally the best thing to happen to this season. He kicks ass, his story has a ton of momentum, and he has far and away the best one liners on the show. Possible for him to get a valerian axe to kill White Walkers

3. I could go for a Varys/Tyrion spinoff series where they travel around the Seven Kingdoms mediating political disputes

4. That being said, Tyrion has had nothing to do this season. Feels like a real waste of his character and Dinklage’s acting abilities.

5.MIND MELT - Is anyone truly good on this show? More importantly when put in difficult situation is the goodness in your soul malleable? This came up frequently tonight with everyone from Edmurre Tully, The Hound, and Jaime Lannister questioning just how much good is left in them. The truth is that outside of Jon Snow - there is no “good” person on this show - just a whole bunch of gray. That’s life though right?

6. I’m a little bummed we didn’t get an epic Riverun siege. I’m more bummed we didn’t get to see The Blackfish fight. Sooo much hype around this character and he “dies” off-screen. He’s not dead by the way - you don’t die off screen on this show when you’re that much of a badass and not come back. Example - The Hound.

7. So for pretty much the whole season Daenery’s plotline has been reduced to a series of epic moments, entrances, and speeches. YAAWWNNN.

8. Game Of Thrones showrunners David Benioff and D.B. Weiss must have a background in comedy because it really came through in tonight’s episode - not just in the scene with Tyrion n’ Pals having some cocktails. The dialogue with The Hound and The Brotherhood Without Banners was hilarious.

9. So the Terminator, I mean The Waif died offscreen and thankfully this overwrought storyline is at an end. Did it really take two seasons for Arya to get reminded that she is a Stark? C’mon! What a waste. Hoping there is a bigger payoff down the line. It would have been all worth it if she killed Sir Jaqen at the end though.

10. I really thought the slaver’s ships were Ironborn and I got extremely excited. Hope that happens this season.

Stoked for next week! Bring on the battle of the bastards!

Game Of Thrones Recap - Season 6, Episode 6 - Blood Of My Blood

Yawn. I understand Thrones has to do a lot of set-up work to keep the plot moving, but after last week’s amazing episode - I was expecting more.

Direwolf Badassery - Nope and they were missed

Jon Snow Mania - Wish he was around for this episode.

1. The return of Benjen Stark is pretty cool and not just because we haven’t seen him since season 1! First off, he officially confirms that Bran is the new three eyed raven! Second, he’s some weird combo of human and white walker which we’ve never seen before. Third, he reveals he was saved by dragonglass which is nuts because it’s basically the ultimate “weapon” which could turn the wights back into humans again magic potion. And fourth - he can tell Jon about his Mother.

2. The Samwell Tarly story basically just let’s us know that in the world of Thrones it’s now fall (much closer to Winter) and that he picked up a nice new Valerian steel sword during his brief stop at home.

3. MIND MELT ALERT - Arya will still be a faceless man by the end of the season because she’s going to give the Sir Jaqen a face - the super annoying girl aka “The Waif.” They’ve been setting up this showdown all season and Arya will kill her and then Sir Jaqen will be like - nice you passed the real test.

4. Jaime’s face when Tommen rolled onto the steps makes this whole plotline barely worthwhile.

5. Speaking of Jaime, he’s headed towards Riverrun where Lady Brienne is headed as well. I smell a reunion! Wonder what Tormund is going to have to say about that.

6. The return of Benjen is cool cause he’s like a giant ball of thrones mythology, sweet new fire weapons, and old school characters. The return of the Blackfish and his son - ehhh not so much. Although the Blackfish was in an amazing scene back in season 3 - so maybe he’ll be cool - his son’s appearance though - I feel nothing.

7. This is the season of Stark family reunions and I’m ok with it!

8. That Tarly dinner party was the second most awkward dinner party on Game Of Thrones. The first was the red wedding.

9. Oh, I almost forgot, another great Daenery’s speech and emotional scene - YAWN. Honestly this show has done nothing since season 2 with this character. She goes somewhere - makes a speech - has some problems - goes somewhere -makes a speech - has some problems - goes somewhere - YOU GET THE IDEA. I felt nothing here. Gonna need a lot more than that.

10. 4 more episodes and I feel like this show is on the brink of being “bad.” Because I said that they’re going to deliver a kickass episode next week - but so much of it just feels like they’re spinning their wheels until the real showdown between the dragons and the white walkers

Game Of Thrones Recap - Season 6, Episode 5 - The Door

Let me pull myself together after that WILD ASS episode, but WOW lot's to digest here.

Direwolf Badassery - I know Ghost gets a lot of hype, but Bran's direwolf Summer is low key the most badass direwolf on the show. Not only did she save Bran in season one but tonight she goes out like an absolute badass (something which can't be said about the other direwolves) and takes out a horde of Wights with her. 15 points for Direwolves.

Jon Snow Mania - He's back and I'm bored with him playing the Westeros version of Risk. Get back to killing people Jon. 

1. Let's get the boring stuff out of the way first: The Arya plotline is going nowhere and is boring as hell. I guess her watching the weirdly meta play recapping the first season was cool, but seriously let's get on with this. Also, is the girl who is always kicking the shit out of Arya - Sir Jaqcuen's daughter?

2. Awesome seeing Sansa telling Littlefinger off, but it was kind of diminished at the end when she LIES to her brother, which just proves she may "hate" Littlefinger but she certainly has picked up on lots of his tricks.

3. Dayuum, so the White Walkers were created by the children who had beef with "men." I guess they had beef with the men because they were taking their homes. Classic fairy-tale story gone wrong. Also, you see the White Walker sword?

4. Brace yourself for a MIND MELT - So if the Night's King can see Bran when he's warging in the past - can the Night's King see across time? If that's the case - I wonder if the reason he didn't go at Jon Snow last year at Hardholme was because he knew that battle was yet to come.

5. Another season another quest for Sir Jorah - this guy is just a quest machine. 

6. I am ready to confess that the Theon redemption story which started when he got his dick cut off has ended and I am firmly rooting for him. Also, are we going to get a naval battle with him and his sister going up against Mr. Fu Manchu?

7. This episode was directed by Jack Bender - who has pretty much directed at least one episode of every show ever. He's famous for directing amongst other things a bunch of LOST episodes so if you got a NOT PENNY'S BOAT vibe from the ending, that's why.

8. What exactly does it mean to "become the raven" and why is it so important. I think Bran's journey is going to take him to the "first men" which basically are the gods of the Game of Thrones world.

9. Loved the slight comedy in this episode - particularly Tormund just being completely obsessed with Lady Brienne. Also, does Podrick not get to hang out with the cool kids at Castle Black?

10. Finally - RIP HODOR - amazing how we feel so much for a character who only says one word. He will be missed!

I know I missed two weeks, sorry won't happen again, alright?

Game Of Thrones Recap - Season 6, Episode 2 - HOME

So we all saw that coming but hot dayuuum, it was still pretty awesome right?

Direwolf Badassery - 5 Points. I'm always down for some direwolves to rip out some throats, but there is nothing more badass than loyalty and the way that Ghost knew his boy was about to come back. Way to go Ghost.

Jon Snow Mania - Yeah, he's back. He got a nice haircut as well.

1. Bran & Hodor are back! Did you miss them last season? I didn't really miss them, but now that they're back and on a flashback journey, let me be the first to say - welcome back. The flashback to #happytimes Winterfell was actually really cool. I loved seeing Young Hodor, Benjen, and Ned. And you know that fact that they showed Lyanna Stark is going to turn out to be a big deal down the line - check out this article for reference.

2. I'm not into the Lannister family drama at all. Tommen wants to be a tough guy. Cersei has the same hair cut as Tommen. Jamie Lannister is trying to be a Dad. Thank gawd for the Franken-Night destroyer guy - he's the only thing keeping the Lannister story interesting.

3. Is the High Sparrow feeling the bern? The scene where he was surrounded by minions and was talking about how united they are strong against the government was nicely political.

4. We didn't see Khaleesi the whole episode but we learned that she had an entire fleet of ships in Mereen the whole time? C'mon girl - why didn't you just roll over to King's Landing and do the damn thing? 

5. The scene where Tyrion confronted the dragons was amazing. First off, he is consistently one of the bravest characters on the show and that courage was really on display here. Second, the visual effects on the dragon's mouth when he turned the flame on where amazing. Finally, I love how this scene was set-up by his fleeting glimpse at the dragon last season when he was in the boat with Ser Jorah. 

6. Wow - Ramsay Bolton is pretty much the most evil character in all of TV history ,huh? That was a pretty brutal 5 minute stretch he appeared in. Can't wait until Jon Snow fatality kills him.

7. So the guy on the bridge who killed Balon Greyjoy is his brother Euron Greyjoy - a new character this season. And, WOW, what an entrance. The lines "I am the drowned God" and "I am the storm" are pretty damn cool if you ask me. 

8. It was kind of funny to see Melisandre be super mopey and emo and while I get that she's bummed about her visions not coming true - what is she gonna be like now that she did some next level magic? My hope is that her character continues to develop in interesting ways now that she's got a confidence boost. Would love to see her in combat.

9. I'm sorry it took my 9 points to get to that amazing giant kill. It was long overdue - we've seen giants shoot arrows, run fast, swing trees, but never just ragdoll someone into a wall. Wow!

10. And finally, Jon Snow is back. We all knew this was coming, but that still doesn't make it any less awesome. Love the way they shot this scene and cannot wait to see what happens now! They keep setting up this huge battle at Winterfell and while that would be dope - I would hope Jon's real battle now is with the White Walkers because you know that show-down is coming. 

Game Of Thrones Season 6 Premiere - The Red Woman

Thrones is back and I gotta say this was a pretty strong opening episode. It set up the pieces on the chessboard, had some decent fighting, and a hell of a final scene. Also, let's talk more about that final scene - kind of ruins all of my game of thrones babe rankings, but whatever.

Direwolf Badassery - Healthy 3 points. We got a howl, some solid growling, and some serious teeth shots from Ghost. Let's hope he gets to spill some blood this season.

Jon Snow Mania - No resurrection but at least he's got REAL FRIENDS. 

1. The opening shot of the season is a sunrise over Castle Black. This both showcases that a new season is dawning, but also a potential resurrection for Jon Snow. I know that may be searching but if it opened with a bleak dark night and his body burning - it would be a different opening. 

2. Right out of the gate - Melisandre says "I saw him fighting at Winterfell" and my head is spinning! When did she say that? Way back when she was with Stannis in season 2? Or was it recently? Also, does it matter? I mean, she wasn't hyper accurate with Stannis right? Aaaannnd she's a hag! What?

3. Let's talk about the #hagreveal for a second. First it messes up my women on Thrones power rankings,  but also it makes you wonder just how long Melisandre has been around - and with all the talk on Thrones about the First Men - it makes you wonder just how much she knows about the world of Westeros - both it's players and it's magical history. Perhaps her story will interact with White Walkers? 

4. SLIGHT MIND MELT WITH SIDE OF CHEAP CHEDDAR - The season seems to be about the actions people take after someone important to them dies. How do the Lannisters react to Mycella's death? How do Jon Snow's #RealFriends and the Night's Watch react to his death? How does Ramsay Bolton react to his girl's death? 

5. It took a final season but between that dagger toss and that spear through the face - the Sand Snakes are finally cool - took long enough, don't really know what to make of them? A Dorne plotline isn't that interesting - if they try to infiltrate King's Landing - that's a different story.

6. I touch on this in my video recap - but those Dothraki foot soldiers having an ultra crude conversation about Khaleesi really felt like it was seasons of unnecessary female nudity, sex, and classic "sexposition" rolled up in one statement. Let's hope this season is different than last season and that we don't have a rape every other episode.

7. You know it never gets old, but between frozen rivers, rolling green hills, and deserts - GAME OF THRONES can still give you that epic vista!

8. Has Theon's redemption journey won me over - not yet? I may be inching towards that starting line but this dude was insufferable at Winterfell - so they haven't got me yet.

9. In a passing of the torch - Roose Bolton has taken over the Tywin Lannister roll of making somewhat cryptic menacing threats while standing in a dining room. Welcome Roose - you deserve it - maybe you'll die on a toilet like Tywin

10. Usually there is a pre-credits opening scene - but not this time? I wonder why that is? Oh I get it now - the previously one segment was like five minutes long and thankfully summarized a rather weak last season!